Married Life

Questions To Ask A Prospective Spouse

Things have changed drastically for India over the years but one thing that definitely not changed and probably will never are arranged marriages.

Arranged marriages still happen everyday in India and around the world. A typical modern arranged marriage works as follows. For both men and women, the individual’s parents or older family members screen for and find prospective spouses for further consideration through their social circle, community, or by advertising on matrimonial websites or newspapers.

There is an initial meeting in a family gathering, after which the couple has a few opportunities for chaperoned courtship. At this point if neither party has vetoed the match and if they are so inclined, they may spend some time together alone.

And then it is time to make the decision. It is not unusual for the process from initial introduction to the final yes/ no decision to unfold within a few days.

However, sometimes you are so caught up in the moment you are not sure what to ask or say when you are meeting your prospective spouse for the first time (and if allowed, a couple times after that). I have broken down some vital questions to ask your significant other before getting married and saying yes and I do.

  1. Are you ready for marriage? It’s better to confirm, if he or she really wants to get married or if they are just being pressurized.
  2. Why do you want to get married? Reasons for getting married; Is it to make their family happy? Just to carry on the arrange marriage custom? Does he or she really and truly want to get settled?
  3. How do you describe yourself? Their nature, opinions, views and hobbies are crucial.
  4. Do you smoke or drink? You should ask expecting a honest answer, but I doubt if any guy answers it honestly ever.
  5. What are you looking for in your future spouse? Criteria and specification of future spouse is a big deal.
  6. Are you vegetarian or non-vegetarian? Food habits are essential to know about.
  7. What are your likes and dislikes? What do they love? What do they despise? What irritates them? What makes them happy?
  8. Do you think you have got the qualities of being a perfect spouse?
  9. How do they act when you get upset? Or when they are upset?
  10. Are you planning to have kids soon after marriage? How many kids? Just one kid? When?
  11. What are your views on sharing household work? Opinions about helping in household work?
  12. What are your future career plans or job plans? Any specific goals or objective about job and career? Do you plan to study further? Do you want to?
  13. Are you looking for a house wife or working girl? Question for guys mainly.
  14. Would you like to have pets ever?
  15. Do you have any allergies? Medical concerns and eating habits are essential to know.
  16. Are you short temper by nature or a calm person?  What makes them angry? Precaution to never mess with whatever makes them angry.
  17. What are your strengths and your weaknesses? Knowing a person deeply is crucial. What makes them strong? What makes them weak?
  18. How do you spend your holidays? Funny? Adventurous? Boredom?
  19. Do you save money or spend what you earn? Saving is very essential to raise a perfect family and also for both of your futures.
  20. What kind of person has influence on you?
  21. Do you expect your future spouse to change for you? People and couples change over time and with age but you should ultimately stay who you are. At a certain point too much change or an extreme over haul of personalities and nature can be hazard to a relationship and marriage.
  22. Are you a shopaholic?
  23. What kind of education do you want for your future kids?
  24. How were you raised as a child?
  25. Do you want to have joint accounts or separate or both? This is a tricky one, but you want to know what kind of person he or she is when it comes to money.
  26. What time do you wake up in the morning?
  27. What do you value most in a relationship? Is it understanding, love, trust, fun or all of them?
  28. How could a marriage be successful according to you? What kind of efforts can make a marriage successful or factors that could make a marriage happier and successful one?
  29. If you would say yes to me, what are the reasons? The reasons behind choosing you as his/her future spouse, what qualities in you attracted him/her…etc.
  30. Do you have any questions for me? A courtesy to ask, so that he/she should be given equal opportunity to ask questions.

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